Beginnings

A friend of mine became a Christian last week. He was in my Bible study last year. It's... neat, ya know. I just don't know how else to say it. I want to claim a lot of the work as my own... but it's so neat to see this happen because I do care about the guy and I did spend a lot of time with him talking to him and listening to his struggles. It's good to see this.

I really hope God blesses you, Robert.

On a side note, I think I'm done with IV. Not that I'm done, though; it's more like I feel God pulling me away and pointing me in the direction of my work. I want to be a good linguist and the more I get into this field the more I'm having problems with it. I think those problems are coming from the fact that I have not been giving this semester a lot of my effort. I've been pretty slack in my work, and I don't want to be like that. I want to be the best, and by that I mean I want to be the absolute that God can make me. I don't claim to be anything amazing anymore, but I do want to be myself and the best thing that I can be with the gifts that God has given me.

Elihu

My recent good fortune and radio silence has called into question why I even blogged in the first place. Given my well-publicized, traumatic ethereal wanderings I don't know how to contextualize my lack of submission. I'm just trying to sound really smart here is all...

Bah.

You know, these days I don't blog as often as I used to. Time isn't an issue; I used to find or make time to blog. I can't access the internet on my computer anymore so that could be a large reason. Altruistically, I'd like to say I don't blog anymore because I'm too busy spending time with other people, and that's partly true, but every now and then one must put one's thoughts onto a page for the masses to devour.

I renamed myself Elihu. He is a character from the book of Job who stands against Job's anger and frustration with God. For 7 chapters he espouses the goodness and justice of God in the face of Job's misery; in the cosmic debate that rages on God's definition of justice Elihu takes God's side because no matter how much our grumblings against God make sense, God is still so much higher and more sovereign than our complaints. I like this guy; I don't want to be him, I want to be me, but I do admire his penache. He stands up and says, " I am young in years and you are old; therefore, I was shy and afraid to tell you what I think ...," he then proceeds to firmly put his foot down and tell them all what he thinks. I don't want to be firm and put my foot down, but I want that attitude. A year ago, I would be saying exactly what Job had been saying in his book, but these days not so much. This isn't because I am living off the fat of the land -- things are still hard and there are still some days that last for 18 hours, but I really think that God has dealt with those feelings of hostility. I feel so much more restored and joyful than I used to. Certainly, my life IS easier than it was one year ago, but that isn't a justified reason for lack of joy that I had previously. Contextually, there are starving people in Africa who dance before the Lord and love it. No, my hostility came from God sifting through my past and my memories and dealing with what was there. I still sympathize with Job sometimes, but the thing is, I want to sympathize with Elihu because that is the point of view that God desires.

My life is changing, but that's not something I can stop. My life will only get denser and more challenging, but that is no reason for a lack of joy. I love the Lord God, and my relationship with Him isn't so m uch about high points or low points; it's about a daily commitment to agree with what He decides He wants to do. Psalm 115:3 and I Sam 3:18 speak to that.

I want Elihu's outlook on life because it is the right one to have.