Just for the record

I am a fucking badass. I want the world to know that despite this spare tire around my sides, and some junk in the trunk I am in the best shape of my life.

Last Sunday I ran ten sets of bleachers* without stopping. Then I did the Rutten workout**. Then I ran 5 more sets of bleachers.

This Sunday I ran a mile then the Rutten workout then ten sets of bleachers without stopping.

I get down on myself, but the facts don't lie.

* A "set" of bleachers is defined by going up and down a single leg of stairs. The intensity of this workout varies depending on the side of the stadium you run the bleachers on. The entire stadium is equal to about 15 sets of the tallest bleachers (the south side)and twenty sets of the average size bleachers (the east and west sides).

** A "Rutten" is inspired by Bas Rutten. You do twenty pushups then run the length of the football field from the back of the end zone to the other back of the end zone. Then you do fifty situps, run down and back. Do twenty leaping squats (from a squatting position leap as high as you can into the air), run down and run back. This is all done without stopping. That is one Rutten. The Rutten workout consists of three of these with rests in between each Rutten. So that is 60 pushups, 150 situps, 60 leaping squats, and running about 1980 yards, which is around 1 and a quarter miles.

Psshhh! Whateva. I got that!