At the risk of

At the risk of wasting precious time for studying, I'm going to type some stuff up here because... well, I think I have this crazy hope that one of the girls I have feelings for might stumble across this page. Aside from being comfortable knowing that my friends know I am neurotic, I think some crush of mine browsing by this page might be the real reason I type here. Who knows? Just thinking.

Saturday morning I went and had someone pray deeply into my past and my spiritual strongholds. I usually try to be a really down to earth guy, but once again, Christianity is showing me that there is more than just what I can see and measure. While we were praying I saw some intense, vivid, and highly symbolic stuff. It was crazy. I told Cheb all about what I saw and he was kinda like, "Yeah, that was pretty crazy." Next time I see Josh and Par, I'd like to talk to them about the stuff that I saw. There were so many times that I thought I saw Jesus throughout this progression of visions while I was praying, but each time that Jesus would do something violent and attack me, or choke me, or try to kill me, one of them even molested me in the most obscene sense that a male can be molested; it was... something, man I don't know. I still don't really know how to approach it all as I spend the next few weeks (I'm going to go back and have this person pray with me again after a few weeks have passes) debriefing and deconstricting what I saw. I do know that the Jesuses I saw and fought symbolized a large part of my struggles over the last few years: there was Anger, Pride, Despair, Lust, Legion, Lies, Confusion, and the Molester one. I don't know how often people read this, or want to be involved in the spiritual stuff that I write about, but I have written the whole vision down and if you want to read it, I'll post it. If nothing else, it's an incredibly surreal, dramatic, and symbolic thing to read. There's shape shifting and demons and frightening images; it's kinda like something you might see in a Constantine-esque movie. You might enjoy it.

Recently my potential love life has become the topic of discourse between many peolpe that I pray with and trust. Ummm... things might be moving, but then again I really can't speak for that because I have not been notoriously intuitive when my love life is the topic. Well, that's a lie. Things are moving. I did see and feel plenty of things about my love life when I was being prayed over. The woman praying over me even specifically mentioned my wanting to have a partner, so yeah. I don't know what all that means or what it translates into.

And now for homework.