A Simple Weekend Post

I'm here. I'm alive. Maybe that's all that God cares about.

I've been reading Proverbs a lot lately. The "Wise Wife" is all over the place in that book; it makes me jealous.

I don't really have anything to type, but I feel like it is important to let everyone know that God is slowly rebuilding me. After everything that has happened the last 3 years, God is slowly putting love and patience and faith and trust back into my life.

I talked to a girl who has like a Spiritual Wisdom of 75, where mine is like 12. Dude, it's not even one of my major classes. *pushes glasses up on face* Anyway, in a one hour conversation she turned my world upside down! I keep thinking back to it...

She told my to stand. In fact, at one point in our conversation, she was emphatic about it. I was squating on a ledge that was about at chest level, and she was standing below me. So I stepped off the ledge and I stood. Then she put her hand on my chest and started praying for me. She asked God that I would learn to stand, and no longer stay in the back. I don't remember what she said, I was too busy thinking about how cool and surprising that this girl could call me out so quickly and accurately and pray exactly what I needed to hear. As she was praying, I kept standing taller and pushing my chest out further, and widening my shoulders because it felt like the proper thing to do. It felt like God was calling me out through this girl and so the proper thing to do was to stand as tall and intimidating as I could (OH SHIT!!! Zombie Autopilot by Unearth [go to yahooMusic right now and watch the video, right now!!!!] just started playing on my iPod!!! Now I'm all pumped up!) because... Dude, I'm a frickin' Prince because my Father is a King! Take that.
Cheb and I talked about that in the Prayer Room the other night for a while. We were talking about our power animals, and both of us picked some goofy, stupid animal that got vicisously (I just forgot how to spell that word. Oh well, not really caring anyway) murdered by some other animal. First Cheb said that he was a sea otter that was having fun and then would get eaten by an Orca. Then he said his was a Bower Bird with crappy plumage and a weak nest; it occured to me that our animals and our conceptions of ourselves were lies from Satan. We are powerful freakin' men. I don't know of anyone else (which doesn't mean that they're not out there) who continually meets the deadlines and obligations that we do. At the end of 24 hour day, Cheb is still out there running the bleachers and doing Ruttens right along side of me. Now that is manly. And last year, when I was only getting 3 hours of sleep, I was still getting up early to work out, doing the two Bible studies, working the two jobs, AND getting A's in my classes! Now that is freakin' manly.
As I was running the with Cheb on Saturday, I kept thinking about how much of a powerful man God has created me to be, and how much more powerful I am going to become. I felt like all the work of the last few years, the pace and the striving, the sweat, the tears, were all coming together and I was rewarded in that morning with the bleachers. It made so much sense to me that the bleachers that morning symbolized my inheritance from God. I started asking it from him, almost demanding it from him. Because I am a Prince, and I ahve a huge inheritance coming to me; Lord knows (literally) that I have been working my butt off for it, so yeah, I freakin' want it. I want a girl and I want a ministry. If that ministry is just hanging out in church until I can leave for all of the places that I want to go, then all I gotta say is rock'n'roll, I'm cool with that. I just realy want those things. God has seen me work, and now that so many of the lies that Satan has told me have been broken and I believe that I STAND justified through Jesus before God as a PRINCE and an HEIR to the Holy Spirit I want to claim my inheritance. I want it now and I want to do it right. I just knew that running those bleachers that morning symbolized my inheritance from God. Sure it was a lot of work (and I REALLY had to poop, and felt kinda pukey because of that damn milk party... You try running the bleachers with a belly full of milk and pastries; it felt like I had a sack of cement in my gut), but there was no other place I would rather have been. That was my inheritance and I was claiming it from God. It was really cool to be out there than morning and know that very few men have the chutzpah to be out there and running the crazy pace that we do. That is what God is giving me, and it's pretty cool.

So, anyway. I'm going to ask that girl out because I want to and I feel like I should. I'm gonna jump on this one before I have a chance to over think everything and go nuts. If nothing happens, then whatever. But I'm not going to approach this expecting defeat; I'm going to approach it expecting my inheritance from God because I am a Prince and I have come of age. If the answer is no, then that simply means that there's another one out there.

Good grief. I wasn't even going to write a lot. I'm not even going to edit it either because I don't have time. Sassah-frassin' journal. It takes up all this time.

*edit*
So I edited it (huh, those two words together are the same word repeated. 'edit'edit' You see? These are the fun things and patterns I look for in words and why I love Linguistics). Shutup. The thing is still full of errors and redundancy, but I don't care. I have to pee and get to frickin' work.