bah

I saw Ethan today and throughout the course of the conversation I said a lot of stuff that had absolutely no merit for the rest of civilization. Neither Ethan nor I walked away from the conversation feeling like our lives were improved or touched in any way. I don't know, maybe Ethan feels like he's better fot it. We talked about, are you ready for it?

We talked about me ditching class so that I could pick flowers and leaves the petals scattered around the campus to make it prettier and give me something to do while I was ditching class. But then bees would have come because of the flower petals, and they would have been all like, "buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzzz buzz buzzzzzzzz!!!![Holy shit! Look at all these flowers. It's the mother lode!!!!]" And then deer would have come to eat the honey that the bees were producing and make the campus even prettier. But then Ethan was all like "Fuck you, bitch. Mu'fuckin' deers don't eat honey!!!" And then he slapped me. So I said, "Oh yeah, you're right." We decided that bears would come instead and then mountain men would come because of the bears and they would set traps for the bears, but that would be dangerous because people walk around campus everyday and someone would step into one of the bear traps. And then no one could help that person because they would be frantic and inbconsolable, and then wolves would come to eat that person and that would be horrible. At least, that's what I thought (I just farted real quietly and I'm in the library computer lab, and oh man it totally stinks and I'm stiing by this fan that's blowing to cool off the lab, so now my fart smell is going to fill the room. I might have thought this one through.). Ethan was all like "Fuck mu'fuckin mountain men! I kick Jeremiah Johnson right in his stupid ass for leaving his goddamn traps all over the mu'fuckin' place!!!" Then I was like "Ethan calm down. You don't want to see me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." But Ethan didn't stop, so I turned into the Incredible Morphin' Hulker-man and I was all pink and glittery, and had this lightning bolt scar on my forehead. I said to Ethan, I was all like "Peace friend Ethan. Tum-Tum and Papa Bear haven't made it back from chasing the bees and the honey, and the mountain men!!!" And then Ethan said, "Shut yo fuckin' mouth before I smack it. I'm the juggernaut, bitch!"

I decided to ditch class to write this?!
No, I swear I'm going to do homework. I even promise it.